Ban the bull: dignity policy

Author : em-admin

Posted : 11 / 07 / 10

Dignity is an inherent human right, according to the United Nations. (And who are we to argue with them?)

But what began as a subject for the UN has apparently (inevitably, some might say) become an issue for Health and Safety. Unions are strongly encouraging private- and public-sector organisations to have a dignity policy in place – increasingly, it is a mandatory requirement for public-sector contracts. And Health and Safety may now even take into account the presence of bullying and harassment in the workplace during risk assessments.

Whether or not you support the idea of such a policy is, for our purposes, neither here nor there. What is, however, is the communication of the thing. While you can hardly overestimate the value of dignity itself, it seems policies on the topic can quite easily be overwritten.

One university in London manages to state its stance succinctly in just under one screen’s worth of text, but it takes other organisations anything up to 17 pages. (The UN was able to sum up the rights owed to every human being on the planet in just six.)

The question then becomes: do you actually want people to read this document? Presumably it will contain valuable information for your workforce, or possibly for future business associates. So make it accessible. That means, as much as possible, keeping it to a length that won’t overwhelm your reader before they even begin.

Here are some examples to show how the authors of the lengthier policies we found could lighten their readers’ load.

Unnecessary repetition

3.2 Harassment or bullying is not dependent on an intention to cause distress or hurt but is assessed by the impact the behaviour has on the recipient. As a result, it is possible that behaviour that is acceptable to some employees may cause embarrassment, distress or anxiety to others. It is recognised, therefore, that harassment or bullying relates essentially to the perceptions and feelings of the recipient.

(Salford City Council, 17 pages)

Makes sense. But it could be less than half the length and keep all the sense by stopping after the first sentence. The last sentence basically repeats the point, and the second is not vital. If you wanted to make the second point, it could be trimmed to simply: ‘Behaviour acceptable to one individual/employee may upset another.’

3.10 The essential characteristics of harassment are that it is unwanted by the recipient and that it is for each individual to determine what behaviour is acceptable to them and what they regard as offensive. It is the unwanted nature of the conduct that distinguishes harassment from behaviour between employees that is welcome, mutual and appropriate in a working environment.

(Salford City Council, 17 pages)

This could be cut, as it adds little to the example above. Alternatively, sum it up: ‘It is up to the individual to decide what conduct is acceptable to them.’

The passive voice

A review of the evidence gathered during the investigation will be undertaken by the Principal’s nominee, who will be a person not previously involved.

(King’s College London, 15 pages)

The passive voice (putting the ‘doer’ of an action after the action itself) tends to add needless words, and can make it harder to quickly grasp the sense. You could make it shorter, more direct and more active like this:

The Principal’s nominee (who is someone not previously involved) will review the evidence from the investigation.

Too many -tions

Further to the completion of the investigation the Investigating Officer should write to the complainant and the alleged perpetrator.

(King’s College London, 15 pages)

Like the passive voice, ‘-tions’ and ‘-sions’ are waffle magnets. They are long in themselves and make sentences less direct and overly formal. Where possible, replace your ‘-tions’ and ‘-sions’ with verbs. You may even find you can take them out completely.

After the investigation, the Investigating Officer should write to the complainant and the alleged perpetrator.

This next example manages to be both indirect and passive:

These recommendations should be considered by the Director with a view to their implementation.

(King’s College London, 15 pages)

But it easily becomes:

The Director should consider implementing these recommendations.

Linking

If you’re ever working on a document like this and it’s getting longer than you’d like, consider transferring parts to a separate web page and linking to them. This might work well for legal aspects or long descriptions of procedure. While you may want these to be available to your reader, they can make your document seem unmanageably long (one policy spent seven pages on these alone).

Always ask yourself: what does the reader need to know? And leave it at that.

Help us to Ban the bull

Send us anything you find that belongs on the pages of Ban the bull, and we’ll reward you with a rewrite and a free copy of The Write Stuff, our own style guide.