Name that festive tune

Oh, jingle bells! Under the influence of one too many eggnog-laced espressos, we’ve only gone and rewritten verses from three popular Christmas songs in almost impenetrable management speak.

Passive constructions? Tautology? Unnecessarily long words? Latin? Oh yes.

Can you translate these tunes back to their original festive format? Email us your answers once you’ve deciphered them.  The first five people with the correct songs will win a copy of the book  My Grammar and I (or should that be ‘Me’?)

And, from everyone at Emphasis: it is our fondest desire that you experience a convivial festive period.  We really mean it.



The decrepitation of Castanea sativa on an unenclosed conflagration

The arctic impingement of Jokul Frosti on one’s proboscis

The harmonising of a choral ensemble on festive canticles

And citizens attired in the accoutrement of the Inuit.



I’m experiencing a reverie in which I behold a Yuletide that is niveous

In all ways identical to those I was familiar with at some point prior to today

During which time the uppermost parts of foliage scintillated

And pre-pubescent juveniles gave attention

To perceive tintinnabulation amongst crystalline water ice.



The Ilex aquifolium and the Hedera helix

At the exact moment that they have advanced to their maximum dimension

Taking into account the entire scope of flora to be found in the thicket

It is atop the Ilex aquifolium that the coronet is borne.



The definitive guide to transforming the writing of individuals and teams